Another Year

Another Year

At 43 years old, life continues to move as I celebrate another birthday. It’s hard to reflect on this last year of my life, as I often do on my birthday, and not put my mother’s death top on the list of events that occurred that shaped me this past year. It was odd celebrating holidays, birthdays, and special events without her. Reflecting on my mom’s life instead of my own this week, I wonder if there’s more there that I missed about her that signaled what was to come.

Since her passing, I’ve gone through her finances and her worldly possessions and put together a story I did not understand before, or maybe I did and chose to ignore it. I was completely unequipped to deal with her emotional needs that wreaked havoc on her finances, relationships, sobriety, and ultimately health. However, neither were my siblings, her other family members, or her friends. I can’t help but feel I let her down, and the only way I can find consolation in it, is to build off what did go right for her and reflect on her life.

My mom seemed to have a grand plan for her descendants. It’s evident when she chose to send her four kids to Catholic school and dealt with the financial hardships paying tuition. It was also evident when she chose to purchase a house in a nice neighborhood, one she couldn’t afford and had to rely on predatory lending practitioners to secure. Mom always put family first despite it not being in her best interests financially or emotionally. Being a great parent is a choice not all make, but she did. In fact, her last words to me were to go home and “take care of my family.” I’ve made that a choice, and will keep this goal for my next trip around the sun.

The second major occurrence this past year was transitioning to a full time work from home environment. This change was fairly broad in terms of impact. I found a new hair stylist, dentist, doctor, and changed the interior usage of our home when I created a work office. I also found a new gym down the street that I visit regularly. I hope to take full advantage of this new lifestyle. You never know when things change. I could very easily be back on the commute next year, or even next month. You just never know anymore. Assuming nothing changes in the near future, I will be adding continued focus on my physical well being and health.

Finally, what to look forward to this next year of my birth? First, my wife and I celebrate ten years of marriage soon. A major milestone for any relationship for sure, and plenty to reflect upon and be grateful to have experienced. Secondly, I am on the cusp of a promotion that should take affect before the end of this calendar year. This will mark my full transition over to technology. And thirdly, I plan on reengaging with my hobbies that I’ve furloughed because of other commitments. I’ve hardly touched a fly rod in years, and I plan on that changing soon.

Eurasian Eagle Owl
Eurasian Eagle Owl

 

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