General Advice

Extreme Ownership – Radical Transformation

We are all encouraged to take ownership over our failures so we can learn from them but not everyone does. I decided to embrace the “extreme ownership” concept as proposed by Jocko Willink in his book “Extreme Ownership, How Navy Seals Lead and Win”. The idea is that no matter what mistake, whether you can draw a line to your direct actions or not, is something you own up and try to improve upon. It’s a life changing idea. Take for example a disagreement with a colleague. You can write that person off as being unreasonable, or you can own up to it and learn from it. Was there a better way you could’ve approached them? Is there some motivator for their reaction you neglected to take into consideration? Once you start embracing your mistakes you’ll find you make yourself grow as a person. It’s a humbling approach to life but it has great rewards.

Good Habits – One Day At A Time

I think all of us have a habit or two we’d like to kick. I know I’ve had a few. The best way to take care of a bad habit is to develop a good one. This takes time and is done in small increments over large periods of time. I like to set my improvements over a year and track them in a notebook. For example, I started working out by going to the gym twice a week for thirty minutes. That went up to three, then four, and now five. I added a few additional workouts as I got stronger, but never too fast so I felt overwhelmed. If you make these small habit changes, over a year you could be a totally different person. I can’t take credit for this one though, I learned this from James Clear’s “Atomic Habits”, a must read for everyone.

Excellence – How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything

I can’t tell you where I found this quote, but I have it printed on my desk. I believe in doing hard things well. Of being a craftsman, as in someone who puts effort and heart into their work. I think if you half ass one thing, you’ll probably half ass another. This concept goes even further into how you prioritize your time and effort. If you take on too much what is the chance that instead of getting everything right you get somethings right, somethings wrong, and maybe nothing done on a lot of other stuff. Instead, take on what you know you can do well and then just execute on it no matter how important you deem it to be. If there’s something you know you’re going to struggle with, push yourself to do your absolute best on it by hook or by crook. Be the person that everyone trusts will get it right. You won’t believe how much doing this builds credibility with others when you can routinely demonstrate that you can do things at a high level. You will even find that it inspires others to up their game, so it has a positive impact all around.

Self Awareness – The Self Examined Life Is The One Worth Living

I get laughed at by some of my friends when I tell them I journal regularly, and have for years. I often remind them that the greatest men, including most presidents and famous historical leaders (Marcus Aurelius wrote “Meditations”) all kept journals. It is a way of examining your life in a deeply important way. The cheapest form of therapy is a pen and a notebook. It’s a great way to work out your problems and sort through your thoughts. I suspect most people are like me. Sometimes they get frustrated with how things are going. Sometimes they want to make sense of the past, or plan for the future. Journaling is just the best way to go about it. Find out who you are, what motivates and demotivates you, and gain some introspection and deep maturity. If you are afraid someone will find it, then once you fill out the book throw it in the shredder. If you’re not, put it in a safe and after you die your children will find it and be able to understand who you were as an adult. This may be the best gift you ever give them!

On Health – Protect It At All Costs

I will admit, I was not very good at managing my own health for many years. I led a very sedentary lifestyle. I didn’t eat well, or manage my stress. I slept poorly, if at all. I consumed way too much substances not healthy for me. These days I’ve given all of it up and focus on exercise and nutrition. I was told by a kind, older person to guard my health because once it’s gone you won’t be able to get it back. I keep that in my mind at all times, especially as I see others my age with illnesses, heart disease, diabetes, and other ailments that are keeping them from living the life they want to live. I blame a lot of this on the Standard American Diet (SAD), but there’s also so much confusion out there about what is right and what is wrong that nobody knows the truth. I do know this, the 90 minutes a week exercise is a lie. It’s more like 90 minutes a day. I also know the recommended fruits and vegetables are way too low. We should be consuming way more than we do now. Since I don’t care for fruits or vegetables (raw at least) I’ve found blending them up and drinking them enables me to get all of my nutrition in and fiber that my body needs and it’s made a tremendous difference.

Character – Values Matter

One of the tenants of Scouting is the focus on establishing values. Values are the foundation of character. When you’re not sure what to do you can rely on your values. Values are also something you develop throughout your life and commit to over and over again. The core value in my opinion is honesty, all others spring forth from it. Honesty is the basis of integrity, which breeds trustworthiness, which improves relationships and your ability to effectively and positively influence others. At the end of the day you want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and know you acted in the best way you could according to your moral compass. A lot of this advice comes the training I’ve done as a Scouting Leader, some of which is the best leadership training I’ve received bar none. I also take a lot of these insights from David Brooks’ “The Road to Character.”

The Growth Mindset – Being a Lifelong Learner

I think all of us have read Carol Dweck’s “Growth Mindset”, if you have not you should. The idea is that you should lead your life believing you don’t know everything, but you can learn. This is probably more important than ever as the world we live in is constantly changing. It is almost something you absolutely must embrace if you’re in technology. One of the best tools today are these Large Language Models (LLMs). They are so great at condensing information and putting you onto the right track. Not to mention the instant delivery of almost any electronic book in your chosen language and gobs of helpful videos on YouTube and there’s really no excuse for throwing out the “I can’t figure it out and I give up” mentality. Out of all of these maxims, I try to teach my children this one the most. I am a big believer in effort, but to put in the effort you have to believe you are capable of doing it. I also like the quote here of “not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” I encourage everyone to read deeply and read broadly. You can’t know something you don’t know.

Organization – Decluttering Your Brain

I believe in keeping a clean, orderly habitat. This is such a small, almost insignificant concept, but it’s something I keep at the forefront of my own mind. When I look around and I see clutter I can’t help feeling a deep dissatisfaction from it. I see lots of things that need to be done. I long for the simple lifestyles of the minimalist but know I can never attain it. Most people don’t realize this is the basis of why I am so organized. I am told many times over again that I am the most organized person they know, and it often comes as a surprise to other people who don’t realize it’s the case. Maybe I don’t look like someone who lives this way or give off the vibe, I’m not sure. It is a matter of ordering things around me so my mind is ordered also and in all honesty I didn’t embrace it until I was an adult. I don’t like forgetting things, I don’t like misplacing things either. I keep the same level of orderliness in my life that I do with my work too and it’s been monumental in making me more effective at what I do. I advise anyone, especially those going through a rough time, to stop what they are doing and clean their rooms/houses/automobile/refrigerator. It will make you feel calmer and more in control just by reducing the variables you need to deal with on a daily basis. As I’ve shown, there is never too late of a time to start. If you really want insights into how we think as humans I suggest Daniel Kahneman’s classic “Thinking Fast and Slow.”

Relationships Matter – Build Them Throughout Life

Live Deliberately – Plan

Volunteer Time

Cultivate Faith